How to make a Minecraft sex dungeon

After some zombies snuck in and killed the crap out of several villagers, I decided to get a breeding pair of villagers hidden underground. 

I first built a cell as you see here but left one block space along the bottom of the rear wall. The children can get out that way but adults can’t.

I also wanted to protect my cartographer, so putting him down here as one of the studs seemed like a good way to kill two birds with one stone.

At first I couldn’t get the villagers to do the horizontal hokey pokey. I figured they weren’t close enough to countable doors, so I made a little enclave in the side of the cell and mined up until the chamber got sky exposure. (Villager mechanics require doors have sky exposure on one side or they won’t breed.)
After I set up some doors, they started humping like rabbits. 

Next, I went into the back. 

I decided to do a water elevator to get my villagers up to the village.

If you don’t know how to do a water elevator, it’s pretty easy. Carve a tunnel and alternate placing signs (which block water flow) and placing water from a bucket. Adult-size villagers or mobs will float right up to the top.

After that, all I had to do was keep tossing food into the cell.

I could have made it fully automatic with a farmer and some crops next to torches, but I didn’t want to do that. With the villagers getting beamed up, these two might keep producing villagers infinitely and that would lead to infinite lag.

My village is now full of villagers with three golems (and more doors to support the population). And I’ve traded enough emeralds to get my first Woodland Adventure map.

 

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